Truth Told in Kindness

Communication is complicated
When we are one to two years
We learn to talk
But communicate . . . 
We come out howling oftentimes
We gurgle with pleasure at mere weeks of age
We smile and bond with others
We grasp fingers with our tiny hands
And we howl
Not always communicating with clarity
But getting messages across
Loud and clear

Then we master the art of language
And communication changes
It is not always as truthful
As the pre-verbal vocalizations
Especially as we age

 My friend spoke today
Of communication
Her words struck me as so wise
She spoke specifically
Of how, when people send messages
Which they think the other may resist, 
be hurt or angered by
 They often try to soften the blow by being subtle.
She spoke of the importance of being kind
And that is not done by being subtle.

Subtleties can cloud our message
Leave room for misunderstanding
And confusion

Subtle can be cowardly
Sidestepping truth
In favor of attempting to “spare feelings”

Subtle is most often not kind
It likely is not communicating the full truth
It relays the message that the recipient is not intelligent, strong or wise
And he or she “Cannot handle the truth!”

Truth is a precious gem
In our world of superficialities,
Mis-truths and deception
Truth can be the beginning of growth, healing and intimacy
Truth is gift
When delivered with kindness
Truth makes clear a path
For future journeys
To places of wholeness and liberation

People have said
“It is better to be kind than right.”
It is also better to be truthful
With kindness
Than to skirt around the truth
With subtleties
Protecting ourselves from confrontation or emotional responses
Protecting ourselves
But leaving others in the dark
Confused and alone

Truth told with kindness is the way
Said my friend
For subtle does not show
Respect, honesty or trust
Nor does it shed light 
In the shadows of life.