A few times
Maybe more than a few
Okay, a big handful of times
Tears have come unbidden
They have flowed recklessly
Defying my commands
Unhidden by my wiping hands
They have poured out
From a place deeper
Than my mind
Beyond my reach.
Tears of the Spirit.
9/11 Memorial Service
The first responders
Dressed in their finest
Police, Fire, EMTs
NH Towns from all over
And, running in,
A bit late
Filling the void in the back row
Even NYPD.
At my first sight of the solemn columns of blue
Coming forward in step
Silently marching in
Filling in the emptied bay
In the Firehouse garage
Facing the children
Who are readying their speeches
Their song
Their recitation of the National Anthem.
These representatives of the heroes
The people who emboided love
and walked into
The burning towers that day
And still every day
To save others
Whom they do not even know.
It was the beauty of that love
The caring for fellow humans
NYC opening its heart
All that and more
That called forth my tears
Beyond words
But not beyond the language of tears.
The program had ended
I thought the tears were over,
Then I glanced down
And beheld
The black electrician’s tape
Holding on the sole
Of the patent leather shoe.
The soul held on by tape.
How fragile, how vulnerable
How humble
How human.
Sunrise on Little Sunapee
Each morning
Everywhere
It gently, slowly appears
Over the eastern horizon
Glowing faintly at first
A mere hint
Of what is to come
As it begins to
Illuminate the receding night sky.
Hope appears in much the same manner
Nudges which are barely detected
Glimmers seen, then not
Little surges of excitement
Barely acknowledged
Fearing they are not real, will not last.
But as we wait
And watch
In the reverence of morning
As birds awaken
And chirp their greetings and
The mist races across
The mirrored surface of the lake
A refreshing chill is offered by the morning breeze
As the faint glow expands,
An orange globe
Announces the day
The sky applauds with color
The clouds decorate the heavens
And it is
All reflected in the quiet of the resting lake
Hope can be found in each new day
As the fish jump for joy
The spillway bubbles its mirth and
The mist rises as the warming rays reach down.
Listen
Be still
Receive the message
Of the morning sky.
Oh, Happy Day!
The heirloom tomato seeds have sprouted
The first set of real leaves are present
It’s time!!
They get to stretch their branches
Sink further their roots
Even sprout adventitious roots
As they are planted into new rich soil
In their new homes.
But there is angst
Dwelling with joy
Mingling with life.
It seems accidental seeds
Were planted
There are sets of twins
Cohabiting in one bed
Growing side by side
Nearly Siamese in appearance.
Sadness clenches my throat
(Embarrassing to admit, yes!)
I must make a decision
Which one lives?
Do I try to save both?
Logic – rational thought
Tells me
“Cut off the weaker plant at its base.
Don’t disturb the roots”
The voice of reason admonishes
“You have too many plants already!”
A voice I call love
Speaks quietly
“If you separate them
Trying to save both
They both may die.”
I laugh silently
At my “dilemma”
Wishing in a way
That I was not so sensitive
To the life of a seedling
When there are such
Bigger problems
In our suffering world.
I decide to separate one set of twins
Giving them each a chance to survive
I mark their new containers - “Separated twin”
Call it science.
Then I move on to another pair
I press out the cube of starter soil
Planning to sacrifice the weaker plant
When Voila!
The soil plug breaks apart
Leaving the twins fully separated
I am relieved of the burden of choice!
As I continue to work in the dirt,
I reflect
On the pain suffered daily
As women make choices of far greater significance
Wherever one might position oneself
On the debate,
I wonder, can we agree
These women
Who face their own momentous decisions
For reasons unknown to us
Reasons which dwell deeply in their hearts
These women
Deserve our compassion
Deserve our love?
We know not their grief
We know not their struggle.
But may they know our love.
May they know our compassion.
The trees stand sentry
Offering themselves
As holders of the bodies
The earth, dry and dusty,
Hardened clay
Or fertile soil
Lies ready
To receive,
To embrace
The boxed bodies.
The flowers contribute their beauty
Brightly colored
Spreading scent of life
Hiding ugliness of death.
What do I have to give?
Can my tears soothe from afar?
Can they heal or comfort
Our broken world?
When will it end?
Lives stolen
Violently
Guns
Rifles
Destruction
Hate
Out of control
When will it stop?
Innocent people slaughtered
The world over
Leaders choosing
War, greed, guns
Over people
NRA buying politicians
“I will protect your right to have guns. Any guns. Any guns.”
But they know not how
To protect our children
Children going to school
Picking up siblings at a home
People walking down the street
Enjoying parties, bars, churches
Time together
Gunned down.
Violence running rampant
Running free
While people are imprisoned behind walls trying to stay safe.
All races suffering
Some more than others
So much more
But we are all
The Human Race
WE weep for all
We get angry
We are confused
Powerless
What can be done?
The powers that be
In our country
Are stymied, stalemated
Political loyalty
To an ideology
Blinding itself to the suffering
The endless tears shed
When will it stop?
Maybe, when we pause
Pause
Search our hearts
What is our role?
What gift might we bring to healing?
Remove the cynical scales of protection
The visors blocking our light
Speak for love, compassion
Shout out your, “No More!”
We must groan together
To be heard
People in power
Have you No Power?
No Courage?
No Heart?
Stand in front of these bullets.
Feel the pain,
The loss, the senseless violence.
Stand beside the children
Stand with the mentally ill
Support, treat, make safe.
Weed the life's garden
Of this invasive violence.
It is taking over
Choking out the good.
Pull the roots
Give room for new life.
Our tears are shed
To soothe pain
To nurture life
To acknowledge
That we are all one
.
In this Fragile Human Family.
We must find a way.
He humbly rode a donkey.
He came victoriously.
He came in peace.
The crowds called “Hosanna!”
He was exalted as “King of Israel”
They carpeted his path with their cloaks and green branches
They waved palm fronds
The symbol of victory, triumph, peace and eternal life.
He traveled to Jerusalem
To celebrate the feast of Passover
The Jewish people identified Him as their long-awaited earthly emperor
They believed he would be their warrior King
But he came as a King of Peace.
I wonder, did He know
His journey toward death, crucifixion
Had begun?
Did He look upon the people
With love and gratitude,
skepticism and mistrust,
or maybe loving forgiveness
Were the people pawns
In a political, religious struggle
Pawns in a power play on a grand scale
Or just caught up in the crowd?
Did he know
That the palm fronds
Would be replaced
By a crown of thorns?
That the Hosannas would be silenced
Replaced with a new cry
“Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”
That his title would be short lived
As the people proclaimed
“We have no king but Caesar!”
Did Jesus know
As he sat atop the donkey
That this 15 minutes of praise and adoration
Would be a prelude to rejection,
Abandonment and death?
Maybe He did
Maybe He did not.
What we do know
Is that, when death approached
He forgave
“Father, forgive them
For they know not what they do.”
He forgave
And He loved
As He accepted His death
As sacrifice for all.
Scaling that peak
The one looming
Seemingly within reach,
Around the next corner
Until you look up
And see there is still more to go
Much more
Hitting a wall
Slumping down to the pebbled ground
You take a drink of precious water
Breathe deeply
Gulping in the thin air
Retying your shoes
And rising
You push on
Toward that lofty goal.
The art show
A one-woman exhibit
In a high-ceilinged expansive gallery
As I entered through the mahogany doors
The beauty and meaning overtook me
My jaw literally dropped.
There were no more false precipices
This was the peak.
Across the vast space, I was struck by the dance
Of the slender white birds
Flying, prancing, strutting
Displayed in a manner
Deserving of their beauty.
The Pinnacle reached.
People milling about
Appreciating
Smiling
Greeting each other warmly
No pandemic
No war
No hate
No politics
No sickness
Beauty
Merely and truly beauty.
Young mixing with old
Love filling the space
Family together to celebrate the artist
Along with friends and strangers
A wonderful, wonder-filled evening
A celebration well-earned
Spirit Truly Took Flight
And the view from the top
Was breath taking!
Spirit Taking Flight
Colleen O’Connor Exhibit
Hoxie Gallery Westerly Library Westerly Rhode Island
Month of March
My book has been published for a few weeks now. I am elated with the response it has received. It has been my dream to write a book to help inform people in order that they and their loved ones might be able to attain more control and choice as they approach the end of their life. I have received wonderful feedback which has confirmed for me that the book is providing the information and encouragement it was intended to give!
Here is a sample of one of the reviews. Remember you can purchase a book through my website patocwriter.com http://patocwriter.com
Navigating Life’s Final Journey is a well written book about preparing to face life’s final journey. Pat writes from years of personal experience in the field of palliative care. She stresses the importance of communication and decision-making by family members. The real-life stories she shares stress the point that there comes a time in life when exit can be welcome. Things that need to be discussed and planned for are covered in detail with many options explained. Death does not always need to be prolonged when the person passing is struggling to an uncomfortable lifestyle that makes everything difficult and unnecessary for all involved. The book is full of helpful, thought-provoking stories and helpful information. Take time to read it and share ideas with your family and friends who have loved ones with Heaven in sight.
Janis I.
Our physical beings
Are so fragile
So vulnerable
Our physical life
As we have come to know it
Can change instantaneously
A fall
A nearby sneeze
Droplets landing indiscriminately
An infection
Mild or life changing
Any number of circumstances
Most beyond our control
Can end or alter our physical life
At any moment.
Motor vehicle crash, earthquake, war
Homicide, injury, abuse, illness
And untold others.
As people enter their later years
The physical losses are more evident
Our bodies less resilient
But the human spirit
Ahhh!
The Human Spirit
Inspires awe.
The resolve of rescue workers
In Turkey, Syria, NYC
All over the world
Putting their lives at risk
To spare the suffering of others
Human Spirit.
The courage of the silver-haired man
Making his way unassisted
Across the vast floor of the restaurant
Pushing his walker forward
Dragging his thin, bowed legs
One painful step after another
His right ankle randomly turning under
He ventures forth
Smiling and nodding along the way
His spirit unencumbered
His Human Spirit.
The hurried foot steps
Racing down the hospital stairs
Faces of consternation, determination, trepidation
They descend flight after flight
To the Emergency Department
An energy fills the staircase
An energy of love and compassion
So powerful my heart- filled with awe overflows into my eyes
As I stand back, giving them space
To respond to the call
“Code Blue. Pediatric. ED”
Human Spirit undeterred.
The family
Putting their lives on hold
Being there for their dad
Allowing him to remain home
As he nears the end of his life.
Nearing the end, but living fully
Others helping out
Lending a hand, baking a bread
Saying a prayer
Day after Day after Week after Month
They labor
Out of duty, out of love
The Human Spirit living on.
The Slave Spirituals
A testament beyond measure
To this Spirit
Not extinguished
By the evils enacted
Upon them by others
“Swing low, sweet chariot . . .”
Spirit of human beings
Oppressed, enslaved in body
But untethered in spirit
Human Spirit.
Human Spirit
Surviving
despite enduring
Assault, loss, suffering, unimaginable pain
Human Spirit
Who we are
Within our fragile shells
Deep inside our physical selves
That tiny nugget of hope
The fountain of youth, of love
Our truest selves
When we look on in wonder
Look on in awe
And maybe beautiful disbelief
When our hearts leap
toward the warmth of the flame of the actions of others,
We are witnessing the power of the Human Spirit
And within that Spirit lies hope for our wounded world!
Crumbs for the Journey 